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upEnigma Issue 18: Eating Our Words
by Diahann Krishna | 5th May 1999

"The whole crop circle phenomenon is such an adventure. It changes you in some way that you can't go back to your regular job and be happy talking about making curtains and painting your house..."
quote by D.Krishna from the documentary Croppies.

The appearance of the above quote in the Cereologist Issue #23 couldn't have been timed more perfectly and highlights the magnificent sense of humour that we've often attributed to the Circlemakers. From my personal experience I have found it goes well beyond the corn fields! Shortly after this came out, Kerry Blower rang me up and read over the phone the quote that had been immortalised in Croppies. We burst out into hysterical laughter, because ironically enough, on the previous day we had gone to Homebase to buy paint and curtain rods for the cottage I had just moved into! Then over lunch that afternoon at the Red Lion in Avebury, Kerry and I had our usual philosophical discussion about the process of inner transformation happening to many of us now, tossed around some ideas for a conference, and then discussed the best place to buy a Hoover. When we listened to ourselves, we couldn't stop laughing at how different our conversations have become over the years. Time and experience has brought a merging of the two worlds of the "mundane" daily life with the magic and mystery surrounding the crop circle phenomenon. It doesn't seem to be a battle between the two states of being anymore, but rather a merging of the two worlds to create something entirely different. It means that I carry the same expectations of "little miracles" and coincidences to happen around every corner, including pumping fuel at Esso, which I had never experienced (or perhaps noticed) before the crop circles became a part of my life.

No stone tablets have ever fallen from the sky to explain how it all works and I've never had definite evidence for understanding the origin of the anomalies I've personally experienced during the past few years. These experiences have ranged from looming balls of light to physical (kundalini) effects that almost blew a fuse in the house when I talked excitedly about my first experience in a crop circle to thinking a formation would never appear in a particular field in Cambridge because it was "too ugly" ... and one appeared the following day! I knew these and other experiences are real because of the effect they had on me.

I began to question everything I'd ever been taught by others and attempted to recreate the unusual experiences, so that the strange feelings of aliveness they provoked inside could be integrated as a part of my everyday life. And, it's worked as long as I've focussed on that "magical" state of being that has brought so much fun with it. I know it worked because my life has gradually changed in all aspects as a result. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what I do, but how I'm doing it... and I can stay in the state of magic throughout every minute of the day if I choose to.

I chuckle whenever an email comes in from someone who's "solved the mystery of crop circles", because I've been there too, trying to create my own belief system to help me wrap my mind around the greatest enigma I've ever encountered in my life. Perhaps I'm chuckling because the irony is that I truly know less than I did years ago, though have gone through several lifetimes worth of rich experiences. The more answers I seem to come up with, the deeper the questions go the following year. It's as if we graduate from one level of understanding only to experience being back at square one on a whole new gameboard in a few months time. There is a definite evolution of thought, but it only seems to be possible to ride it sanely by letting go of old ideas in order to expand perceptions. This means in a practical sense being willing to talk to people with a wide range of theories and often wild ideas, because it allows me to see the phenomenon from a different perspective than the one I've personally held. That's what we are doing collectively as "croppies", looking at this phenomenon from a multitude of angles and tossing them around together as we cross paths in formations, on the internet or over pints in The Barge. Then we go back to our own corners with those titbits of information to see how they could fit into our own reality paradigm. Often it's a really uncomfortable fit, but that's what growth is all about. The main point is that I wasn't able to initially understand that fuzzy nature of things that I now see around the edges of this phenomenon, so it has taken years of peeling away layers of how I'd believed the world works, in order to see this window on reality the crop circles have offered. So, I guess I'm saying that this shedding of old concepts and beliefs seems to be a natural part of the evolution process. Never mind that I personally feel the implications are greater than I'd ever imagined, as that's another article.

When I look back over the years of living side-by-side with the crop circles and ask myself what is the greatest gift I've received, it would have to be the lesson to question everything, which also includes my own beliefs. This ambiguity stems from the number one question that seems to be raised whenever the topic of crop circles comes up in conversation - "are they real or hoaxed?" Yet on a personal level we are learning through our experiences that things in life aren't as black and white as we'd been told. In fact we've been fortunate to have this phenomenon show us this fact in such an exaggerated way, while the rest of the world believes in the "absolute truth" of the media and the educational system, which is really only showing one slice of the picture. Clearly, whatever seems to be the consensus reality for today is often just a stepping stone in the everflowing river of life. How many individuals reading this article have shared personal theories with others over the years, only to turn around and change or modify them later? Well, that's what we have to do when we gather more information that sheds a new light on our own perspective of the world today. As a result, I've had to learn to live with a certain level of uncertainty, knowing that the way I view the world today could be entirely different next week as more of the picture unfolds. And, it's been that way many times... I only need to read the above quote as proof. Whatever the case, I now have the quote appropriately framed to provide a constant reminder that the words I utter today just might have to be eaten at some point in the future... so I'd better make sure they are easily digestible.


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